The Parker Journal (Earth-2899)
Introduction I'm Peter Parker. I'm Spider-Man. I'm also apparently very anti-social? One of my friends suggested that I start this journal thing because I have a lot of downtime now. Something like that, he says he's going to be starting one as well, probably not though. Anyway, yeah. I'm Peter Parker..and this is my story. The Party Every year, the League throws this huge party., every may almost all the heroes come together just for one night as a break from all the crime fighting. This is my third year going and holy shit, it just gets better every year! Since I'm a photographer and all, I figured I'd test my skills and take some photos of the place, it went really well! Even though I looked like a giant basketcase with the camera in my hand all the time.. Thor-party-clothes-in-Avengers-Age-of-Ultron-2.jpg|Thor and Cap. 326A09FF00000578-3501994-image-m-56_1458552626526.jpg|Best Friends! tumblr_o4hwpvjlwR1uorz8zo1_500.png|Of all the people who could make me feel even poorer.. tumblr_npe2jbpBrL1sn0i5eo1_500.png|Wanda and Pietro. Not sure why his hair looks blonde in this picture.. Jeremy-Renner-looked-dapper-suit-tie-backstage.jpeg|For a guy who lives in a shitty apartment, Clint always shows up to this place looking fly as hell. cinemacon2016CinemaCon2016_02_rgb.jpg|But obviously, I had the best look of the night. I like to call it the Peter Effect. Captain America So, I was out with The League today, we were taking care of a large terrorist hostage situation, ya know, the usual shit. Iron Man does his thing, with the repulsors and stuff. Side note:What the hell are those things made of? Is it some sort of nuclear energy? Hard light particles? A huge Flashlight that just burns people?? Batman and Thor do their thing, they teamed up actually since Batman had his Bat armor..thing on and he was channeling electricity from Thor and was beating the crap out of everyone. It was so cool. BUT, despite all of that..Captain America is the most BADASS HERO OF ALL TIME. Hands down. First of all, he was kinda late BUT, he rode in on his Motorcycle, plows through a bunch of guys, GRABS ONE OF THEM, drags them along for a few moments, throws the guy to the side, throws his shield so it hits a bunch of people. KICKS A GUY OFF A CLIFF WITH HIS BIKE, then he drives and meets us. So, we all go on our way and Cap was riding towards a jet that they had, for whatever reason, it was very similar to a Quinjet. Superman was there and he was going to take it on, but Cap gave this look like, "I got this, son." and when he gives that look you can't even argue because..he's fucking Captain America. Cap goes at it and takes down the jet..by himself..BY HIMSELF! For a 90 something year old guy, HE'S SUCH A BADASS! Wanda Maximoff I'm 19 years old. I've had exactly two girlfriends in my entire LIFE. Now, I'm not the one to get all up in arms about how I can't get a girl or anything, but holy shit I cannot get a girl. I mean, my first Girlfriend, Gwen she ended up with my (Ex) Best Friend, Harry so that just kinda ruined the entire thing. My second and most recent girlfriend, Mary Jane, well..I'd rather not talk about how that ended. So, as you can see, I'm prone to failed relationships at this point. HOWEVER, recently I've been talking to a girl, she's a foreign girl. Her name is Wanda, or you may know her by her more public name, Scarlet Witch. She is just..STUNNING. I remember when I first layed eyes on her, I swear it was like a scene from an 80s movie. Ya know, the scenes where the guy looks at the girl and everything slows down and some cliché love music comes on? Yeah. That. I've never looked at a girl like that ever, not even MJ. The Peter Parker Guide to Dealing with Girls So, I may not be the best dealing with girls, but I think I`m at least decent. Aunt May always said I was beautiful and that all the girls would fall for me some day. Alfred once said I looked like a true gentleman, and Logan called me a loser for not using his love tactics. Still, I try, and dealings with girls is not easy, mainly in the superhero community. Below I list many of my misadventures with my fellow heroines. Wonder Woman Starfire Raven Captain Marvel Huntress Black Canary Jean Grey Storm Vixen Spider-Woman Ms. Marvel Invisible Woman BatFam Photo Shoot! Recently, Bruce and Selina got married! The wedding was baller as hell, and the food was fantastic! BRUCE SUNG TOO. HE SINGS LIKE A LITERAL FUCKING ANGEL. After the wedding, Bruce approached me and asked if I could take a few single shots of the entire Wayne Family and all. Guess I am that good of a photographer! Then again I am doing it for free.. Bruce.jpg|He loves these candid shots for some reason, I can't tell if he posed for this or if he's photogenic as hell. Selina2.jpg|Selina. I wonder if she was a runway model before becoming a Cat Lady. Grayson.jpg|Dick is my best friend, but he is no where near as sexy as he thinks he is. Jason.jpg|This was literally just a photo shoot but holy shit Jason fucking terrifies me. Tim.jpg|Tim is surprisingly chill as hell. I should probably hang out with him more. Category:Earth-2899